Connecting to deeper levels of Autistic Mind Through Communication

Absolutely! Winter afternoons are so pleasant. Some kind of magic in the air. The sun decides not to be too harsh, and the cool wind takes a stroll, making it a perfect blend to get cosy on a bed and watch a movie or have a siesta. However, the reality was that we were rushing to our Occupational Therapy classes.

We entered a shop to buy some jelly candies to keep as reinforcers for Shreedhar. (We don’t refer to this as a bribe. They are motivators.)While paying at the counter, the shop owner casually asked me, “Usually, they are very talented people. Have you found some hidden skill or talent in him? Some become great chefs, exceptional artists, writers, poets, singers, musicians, dancers.” Gulping my spit, I said, “I am yet to find out. Or rather, must give him more opportunities to explore.” I know they are asking with some good intention, to instill hopes in me, still my heart jumped inside me like Shreedhar jumps on the trampoline. Just to hit the bottom and bounce back on our feet. Held Shreedhar’s hands a little tighter, looking at him as calmly as a saint. And then Shreedhar gives me looks with his talking eyes. We jumped into the rickshaw. Shreedhar loves rickshaw rides so much, especially during the rains, when water splashes. He loves what others get annoyed by.

Meanwhile, my fingers were crossed, hoping the session would go well, and he would cooperate. We have fantastic therapists to manage that, though. However, everything is aligned only if this little Buddha wishes to. On our way to the session, my mind was busy with possibilities and impossibilities. Stuck in a maze of thoughts, thinking of all his unearthed potentials and unexplored skills. I am pretty sure that Shreedhar has at least one of those seven human intelligences in keeping with the Theory of Multiple Intelligences. What could his unique strength be? We know several of his weaknesses. Who would show me the direction to pursue it? Is it there, or not? (Oh! That’s my inner negative devil speaking in between my thoughts.)

Moreover, will that skill or talent help him in earning or engaging him in his span of life? Not every skill might lead to traditional measures of success, recognition, or money. I realised my thoughts were pacing, growing wild, spreading like untrimmed and unruly creepers. Taking a deep breath, I chanted the usual mantra. Accept, Understand, Believe, Trust God, Have faith, One day at a time. Our kids can understand what we don’t. Like reading between the lines. They are good mind readers, too. They understand the tone than the words. They understand the body language. They understand the frowns and the stares. Sometimes they also foresee what’s going to come or happen. Many times, they are the ones to gauge the vibes of a person or a place quicker than anyone else. They surely would have the reasons behind every action of theirs. Let’s collate them patiently, use all our perception angles to sort them out for them. One of the reasons why a puzzle symbol is shown as a sign of Autism. How do we fit the puzzle piece when it does not match the slot?

While I pen this down, Shreedhar has got hold of a generous amount of talcum powder and is applying it on his legs and hands, looking at me with his talking eyes. And yes, he has a reason for this, too.

Deep inside, I know not all autistic individuals are gifted and savants. However, my heart has a shiny ray of hope. I always feel I am not utilising Shreedhar’s full potential. He is capable of many things yet to explore. Every child on the spectrum has something beyond the line of limitation that we set for them.

We have just started using an application for augmenting and providing an alternative way to communicate, which is very essential to help them to let out what’s in their mysterious mind. (Also known as AAC- Augmentative and Alternative Communication). We are using the AVAZ app for this purpose. There are several apps of this kind.

Fast forwarding to the current moment. We were reading a story about rain, clouds, peacock’s dance, etc. After narration, I was trying to strike up a conversation with him through AVAZ. So AVAZ  has a huge vocabulary sorted into different, meaningful folders for nonverbal/ verbal individuals to opt and express their opinions, feelings, choices, questions, etc. It keeps evolving as we use.

I told Shreedhar, keeping the AVAZ open, that Peacock is my favourite bird. They are so colourful. They have beautiful eyes and brilliantly colourful feathers.” Opened the colours folder on AVAZ. And said, I love the BLUE colour on their feathers, clicking on the BLUE on AVAZ. What is the colour that you like, Shreedhar? He clicked on GREEN and then immediately clicked the colour YELLOW. GREEN was okay, but why YELLOW? Where did he find yellow? Probably he wanted to convey the shine on the feather.  Or it may be a wild guess. I asked, “Are you sure, peacock’s feather has YELLOW in it? Opened the folder of YES/NO. He clicked YES. Stopping at this point, I thought it was a casual guess.

That evening, while lighting the lamp at my home temple, I saw a peacock feather peeping from behind a picture. I just pulled it out and had a closer look. The light wrinkles on my face suddenly ironed out, and my eyes lit up to find out that there is indeed a thin yellow line on the far end of the peacock feather.

For a quick reference, below is the pic of that feather.

What we see are common things that everyone can see. However, what Shreedhar could observe is so uncommon. We see, and he observes. We may follow what others follow; he follows what he wants to follow. Remember, he has a reason for it. Probably not known to us. We show what we know. He doesn’t feel the need to show. We focus on the ordinary; he opts for the extraordinary. For me, I express through writing. He expresses through his hand flapping, jumping, laughing, screaming, shouting, dancing, humming, smiling, crying, or just a blank stare (where we usually get fooled). This incident also reminds me of my daughter, Stutii, saying that, “Ämma, Shreedhar knows many things. We are only focusing on things he doesn’t know.”

Autism has taught me and my family to rejoice in the smallest gains and celebrate them like an award function announcing to the world, sharing it on social media not to show off but to inspire others, rekindle the hopes of everyone on this journey, for self-motivation too and create an awareness among the neurotypical tribe.

The thin, shiny yellow line on the peacock feather is the yellow shiny ray of hope upon which I Thrive and Strive.