With school back in session, many parents find themselves in the familiar routine of returning to life in the classroom. Summer vacation has ended and now we acclimate to new teachers and classmates, re-establish routines and rituals, and prepare for another year in the academic setting. Some of these experiences look and feel familiar, while others seem unpredictable and at times, challenging. Utilizing our knowledge from lessons of the past and being receptive to the changes of a new school year enhances the lesson plans for success.
To be fair, I’m a creature of habit and enjoy structure and routine. My son is similar. When he was in elementary school, with each passing year he became more independent and flexible with changes in routine and structure. The same could be said of new teachers and friends, whom he accepted as part of the educational process. While I felt more relaxed at the gradual release of letting others teach Jonathan new ways of doing and being, like most parents, it wasn’t always easy. Especially for me, when he transitioned from elementary to middle school, middle school to high school, and lastly to vocational school. Each transition was a lesson for both of us.
As I became more confident in my abilities to advocate and Jonathan’s abilities to adapt to new situations, I no longer felt compelled to pull an all-nighter every time we encountered a change in the classroom. Giving me pause to step back and let others teach both of us. As the parent of a child on the spectrum, we are an invaluable resource, like a seasoned professor filled with knowledge and experience. Equally important is allowing others moments to grow with our children and to impart their own wisdom. Life is one giant ongoing lesson plan, and the most successful ones are not written in a day or based on one way of teaching. To reach the top of the class, it’s important to let others review and edit pages as well, even ones we don’t necessarily agree with. There are always opportunities to rewrite lessons along the way.
I remember a time when Jonathan’s occupational therapist came to me when she was teaching Jonathan to use the keyboard. He was in 4th grade and had mastered writing, but now needed to shift to using the computer for reading and writing programs. Jonathan was not receptive to the proper hand placement that we are taught when first learning to type. He was more comfortable using two fingers―the hunt-and-peck method. We both agreed that hand placement was less important than his ability to type. So we acquiesced to the modification Jonathan felt was best for him. If you placed a grade on my expectations, I would have said a C and been wrong. What I deserved was an F because eventually his two-finger typing resulted in one of the fastest typing times and highest accuracy rates in the class. A plus for Jonathan!
Jonathan has been an apt student as well as a teacher in many instances over the years. One of my fondest memories occurred his freshman year in high school when he took an introductory keyboarding class. At first I was concerned about his ability to navigate a general education classroom. Second, given his limited verbal expression, would he be able to self-advocate in an environment where his peers could do so quite easily? Lastly and most importantly, would he feel empowered or discouraged, possibly frustrated by the rigors of the classroom and expectations? It ended up being none of the aforementioned, as Jonathan loved the structure and routine, met every expectation in the room and was clearly quite confident in his ability. The ironic part of the story came one day when his paraprofessional was out, and a sub was present. About 10 minutes after Jonathan’s computer class started, she frantically found his Cross-Categorical teacher and told her he was not in the classroom. Of course, panic ensued as they rushed to his classroom, only to find him sitting at his computer, assignment on his desk, typing away. When asked why she assumed he wasn’t there, you guessed it―he was indistinguishable from his peers. There was Jonathan once again in the role of teacher with an important lesson: never presume the inability of someone just because they are on the spectrum.
There are so many lessons in life and while not every lesson is about succeeding, it can often be a tutorial for another way to navigate, overcome, or adapt to the assignment. There is a duality when we learn from each other, teacher and student, parent and child. The experiences they bring educate us in ways we may have never anticipated or imagined. The most important part is to embrace continuing education in all aspects of life― home, school, social, vocational, and into adulthood.
And for those of us who love and care for those with autism in any capacity there is one lesson we know all too well: class is always in session.
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