Growing up, I felt stupid. Oh, so stupid. Like I didn’t fit in. It was as if I’d been dropped in to suburbia from another planet, an alien. Perhaps if I had had a major meltdown I would have flagged the help I desperately needed. But, no, I suffered. I felt so alone, lost. There was no-one else like me. I hid behind a mask and adhered to society norms of being a “male-worker-robot-person” in middle-class society. Fortunately (or not) I was able to mask really well, and hide myself away. I built a life, a job, a house, had a child, all the usual things people aspire to. On the surface, all was normal, I just thought I was different, not less, just different, but didn’t know why. I could never understand the way people reacted to me. I was being nice, but still they didn’t like me, as if I had hurt someone close to them..
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May 4, 2024
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English