Autism Spectrum Disorder Family Care

Accept, Acknowledge & Appreciate: The 3A’s of Parenting Autistic Children

Yes! Acceptance is the key to open the door of possibilities. With every problem we have a new opportunity to find creative solutions only if we accept them. Most of the newly diagnosed parents go through this phase of not being able to accept the diagnosis and struggle with their own resistance. Everything stands as a great hurdle in front of you when there is no acceptance. The sooner we realize and accept it, this journey will be smoother for us as well as our children.

There is a beautiful story about a thin Indian high school boy who joined the National Cadet Corps (NCC) to build up some muscles & to take advantage of the free food given. During one of the NCC camps, this thin boy was given the responsibility to guard the camp tents carrying a heavy rifle. Everyone including him thought it was impossible for him to bear the weight of the rifle & guard all through the night. Even after pleading many times to consider his situation or give him an alternative to carry a stick instead of a rifle, the boy was just told this rifle comes with this uniform. So the boy without any option accepted and tried walking with the rifle. After a while everyone was astonished to see him walking with the rifle with such an ease and carrying it over all through the night. The rifle just had become a part of him after a while.

The takeaway from the story – Not accepting a situation can make it seem like a big hurdle in your life. We suffer from our own resistance. Once we accept it, it just becomes a part of us which will ease us from seeing it as a burden. Just as the NCC officer said to the boy once you wear a uniform, the rife comes with it, the same could apply for us as parents. Once we become parents, the acceptance of our child the way he/she is, comes with it. Once we check that off our list, we can unlock the door of possibilities and to work towards finding creative solutions for every other hurdle. Believe me once we start accepting the situation, our whole perspective towards the situation tremendously changes. Everything will seem positive and welcoming.

Now, from the perspective of the child- Acceptance, Acknowledgment & Appreciation are the three Approaches that can help mould our children into confident individuals to this society. A child seeks acceptance from their parents, acceptance of who they are and what they aspire to become. Your acceptance of them can directly affect their self-esteem. Acceptance by the parents assures his being and promises him of a better future. 

Your child seeks Acknowledgment & Appreciation for their work, their behavior, their thought process, their concerns, their emotions, them being hurt. It helps them in eventually becoming strong, confident and resilient. The confidence felt by the child when a parent appreciates them what helps them face the world. A single word of appreciation makes them feel encouraged and special. And this feeling of being special makes their world, the most secure place to live in.


Shilpa Hebbalaguppe

Motivational Blogger & ABA Therapist

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